As the back-to-school season approaches, many families face a common challenge: helping children smoothly transition from summer break to the structured routine of the school year. Kiti Freier Randall, PhD, aka “Dr. Kiti,” a pediatric neurodevelopmental psychologist and chief of the Division of Psychological Services for the Department of Pediatrics at Loma Linda University Children's Hospital, says this period of transition can be a source of stress for children.
“Even positive changes like starting a new school year can be stressful,” said Dr. Kiti. “Whenever we experience a transition, our brains and bodies go through a period of adjustment. The key to managing that stress is building resilience.”
The three pillars of resilience
Dr. Kiti says that resilience in children is built on three foundational elements:
1. Routine
2. Boundaries
3. Love and nurturance
“When we help children prepare for change by establishing routines, setting firm boundaries, and offering emotional support, we’re giving them the tools to cope with stress and thrive,” she says.
Routine is central to easing a child’s transition back to school. “Our brains are wired to thrive on routine,” Dr. Kiti says. “Routine helps regulate emotional, physical, and mental functioning. Without it, children can become more anxious, irritable, or disorganized.”
She recommends parents begin re-establishing routines at least two weeks before the first day of school. This includes:
• Gradually adjusting bedtimes and wake-up times in small increments.
• Practicing nighttime routines, such as preparing school lunches, picking out clothes, and winding down without screens.
• Simulating morning routines, including the commute to school.
“Bedtime is one of the most important routines to lock in,” she says. “Not only does sleep improve mood and behavior, but it’s critical for memory consolidation and academic learning.”
Screen time and sleep
Dr. Kiti points to screen use as one of the most disruptive factors to both sleep and school readiness. “Screens emit blue light, which can interfere with the brain’s ability to fall into restful sleep,” she says. “It takes 60 to 90 minutes for the brain to settle after screen use.”
Her advice: cut off screen time at least one hour before bed and replace it with calming activities, such as reading, bath time, or quiet play.
Digital detox and recognizing screen addiction
For children who spend a significant portion of their day on screens, Dr. Kiti suggests a digital detox.
“You can’t just take the screen away and leave a void,” she says. “You have to replace that time with engaging, meaningful activities.”
Signs a child may be overly dependent on-screen time include:
- Meltdowns when asked to turn off devices
- Preferring screen time over social or family interaction
- Sneaking screens without permission
- A noticeable decline in interest in other activities
Boundaries and “Las Vegas parenting”
Another key component of a successful transition is consistency. Dr. Kiti warns against what she calls “Las Vegas parenting,” or inconsistent responses that create unpredictable reinforcement.
“If a child learns that a ‘no’ might become a ‘yes’ with enough persistence, they’ll keep pushing boundaries,” she explains. “Consistency helps children feel secure. A firm, predictable ‘no’ or ‘yes’ supports their emotional development and builds trust.”
Building positive routines
For children attending a new school or transitioning to a new grade level, Dr. Kiti recommends helping them physically navigate their new space ahead of time.
“Visit the campus, explore the playground, find their classroom,” she says. “Create positive memories in that environment so they feel safe when they go back.”
She also encourages parents to simulate the whole school routine, from waking up to the drop-off. “
Signs of trouble when routines aren’t in place
Children without established routines may exhibit:
• Increased anxiety
• Sleep difficulties
• Behavioral issues or meltdowns
• Struggles with focus or attention
“When routines aren’t in place, it creates constant negotiation and chaos,” Dr. Kiti says. “Children do best when they know what to expect and feel loved and supported.”
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